i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
