ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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