just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
