I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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