i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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