I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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