you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
