You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
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