Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
