I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
