he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize