you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize