So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
