did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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