On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
