Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
