just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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