She is in my trunk
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
