Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
