I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
