Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Your face is a jimmy john
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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