she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
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