the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
