Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I deserve this hangover.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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