and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
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