So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
