Are we in a gay sports bar?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
