I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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