Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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