And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
