Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
