i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
