omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
