So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
