some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
