It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
