I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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