I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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