Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
