the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
