I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
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He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
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Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize