Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
