I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Randomize