i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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