i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize
