I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
