Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
