You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
