she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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