Porn is love you can see.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
