i can't believe i had my finger in that
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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