We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
ugly people sure do ruin things
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
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