so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
