Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize