Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
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He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
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Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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