Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”