Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(616): View more from Michigan

I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.

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(616): I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does. http://tfl.nu/4jqf

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(954): View more from Florida

I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.

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(954): I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else. http://tfl.nu/idx6

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.

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(215): the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says. http://tfl.nu/scvs

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.

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(405): A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again. http://tfl.nu/8buk

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.

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(401): okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly. http://tfl.nu/8lsw

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.

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(412): I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point. http://tfl.nu/b3t9

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(250): View more from British Columbia

i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now

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(250): i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now http://tfl.nu/xz0v

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(210): View more from Texas

i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.

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(210): i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories. http://tfl.nu/3qfj

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(937): View more from Ohio

I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.

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(937): I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide. http://tfl.nu/dybq

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(314): View more from Missouri

Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.

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(314): Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault. http://tfl.nu/cvk2

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(905): View more from Ontario

I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight

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(905): I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight http://tfl.nu/g5pa

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(519): View more from Ontario

I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.

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(519): I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds. http://tfl.nu/ynhk

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out

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(610): She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out http://tfl.nu/xh8n

Replies (2) Good night (1333) Bad night (483)
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(519): View more from Ontario

Cats found the secret coke stash again

(519): View more from Ontario

They owe us $80.

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(519): Cats found the secret coke stash again (519): They owe us $80. http://tfl.nu/rzq5

Replies (10) Good night (1906) Bad night (1262)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny

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(609): And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny http://tfl.nu/jdju

Replies (3) Good night (717) Bad night (578) Order T-Shirt

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