I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?