one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
either way he was missing a nipple.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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