who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
