If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
