Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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