Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
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I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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