That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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